I have one swimsuit top that fits, does not look hooker-esque and makes me relatively happy. It is missing. I am inclined to believe that it has been kidnapped. I am now forced to soak up skin cancer on my roof in a bra. It is highly inappropriate and behavior unbecoming of a lady. Blerg.*Please see photographic evidence of former relative happiness above. Yes, it looks like I'm crying, but that's only because I had just been nearly eaten by a shark. If I'd been wearing a bra at the time, I'm sure it would have gotten my leg.
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