1) THE COAT
Mildly puffy, down-filled jackets that fit close to the body/don't provide fodder for depressingly accurate marshallow man jokes are legit. Anything a little more streamlined-- think Bogner, Prada, some of Burton's not-retarded-looking offerings -- it bitchin.
2) THE PANTS
-Regular Pants- pretty much the same universal pants rules apply in the winter: they should not be hideous, synthetic, ill-fitting. Fairly straight-forward so, if you fuck that up, you're a massive embarrassment.
-Ski Pants: if they're baggy as hell or elastic around the ankles, you're doing something wrong.
Turtlenecks make even the most exceptionally fuckable men look like douchebags and/or perverts. That's a fact. Don't believe me? Check out this ass hole.
You really shouldn't have matching family sweaters or anything Bill Cosby-esque.
If this rule is confusing, I give up.
4) THE HAT
A black skull cap from North Face is ideal but other hats of a respectable size and material are permissable. Nothing reminiscent of a stuffed animal or purchased at Walgreens and matching a homeless man's headwear is acceptable.
*Face masks may be worn only in all black while skiing and/or raping someone.