Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Lanvin Childrenswear Makes Me Think Kids Are Less Gross

If ever there was a reason to be less grossed out by the idea of pushing a bowling ball out of your lady parts, it's Lanvin for little girls. [via Stylesight]

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

In Case You Didn't Already Know: Alexander Wang Is Cooler Than You

Alexander Wang is so fancy that he only sits on furniture upholstered in dead animal hides. Like crocodile. No big deal. (NYMag)

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Pajama Jeans, The Ultimate Lose-Lose Situation

As though Jeggings weren't bad enough, our collective sense of decency is now being raped by PajamaJeans. Though perhaps more flattering than Jeggings, they're certainly more terrifying, too. Jeggings aren't being infomercial-marketed to every Midwestern mom in the country. PajamaJeans, however, are being touted as the second coming, here to redeem flabby asses everywhere. For only $39.95! Check out the promo video and learn all about how these magical Denim/Spandex combinations will solve literally every problem you've ever had.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Nike Activewear is Getting Increasingly Badass

For years I kind of ignored Nike, associating it with the ever-embarrassing capri leggings that my mother wore for a scarring chunk of my childhood. Aside from the occasional pair of perhaps too-ironic high top dunks, the brand felt as lamely utilitarian as New Balance without the same athletic cred. Whatever they're doing lately, though, is working. Their colors are cool -- think magenta with grey to neutralize the too-girliness -- and their shapes have altogether lost their boxiness.
Check the stuff out; it's almost as cute as Lululemon lately. Because what matters more than cuteness when you're running through 12 miles of mud, right?

Monday, January 3, 2011

I Lied.

When I said that I'd moved forever to True/Slant. As it turns out, you can't blog for a blog that doesn't exist, which is currently the case with Clothes Whore on True/Slant and, in fact, True/Slant in its entirety. The site is still up, but it was acquired by Forbes and subsequently left to rot. So now I'm back, just a girl asking strangers on the internet to love her. But without the typical naked pics.

So keep checking in. (Or read my other blog, Stuff That's Neat, all the time. I promise I'm going to actually post on that one, too.)

Lipstick Queen "Red Sinner" Makes My Face Happy

There's this thing that happens when you wear lipstick all day and I don't know what to call it, but it more or less amounts to a drying of the lips that makes a lady look not terribly unlike the Crypt Keeper in the mouth region. The crumbliness isn't particularly obvious from a distance, but it gets distracting up close, forcing people to wonder if you're only wearing the lipstick to distract from your truly deplorable personal hygiene skills. (For the record, I actually wear it to detract from the vampire-like paleness that renders me almost transparent in the winter.)

Fear not, though, a solution has founds its way to my mouth. Check out Lipstick Queen's uber-opaque Red Sinner for a look that's not new, but is awesome. Aside from being more or less the perfect red, it's heavy on the glycerine, eliminating the crumbly mouth situation.

Buy it here.

As an aside, why do all red lipsticks have slutty names?

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

I'm Moving (To Another Website)

Because my blog-maintaining skills have been shameful of late, I'm moving to True/ where they'll pay me to do a better version of what I do here. I like the insane level of clothing obsession that's happened on LilyQTalksClothes but clearly require incentive to do it regularly, I think it'll be a good move. Very little will change aside from the URL. Once you're on the site, my page will look a lot like an individual blog, minus the bitchin header.

Check out MY FIRST POST, tell me what you think in the comments. And visit frequently because I need hits and comments if I want to keep the job. (Have I mentioned how good you all look today? You totally do.)

Friday, July 3, 2009

Christian Audigier To Show At Paris Fashion Week. I Vomit.

Christian Audigier, purveyor of all things rhinestone-encrusted and hideously illustrated, is planning to show at Spring 2010 Fashion Week in Paris this Fall. This is the guy who designs for the likes of Ed Hardy, usually shows his creations at L.A. or Miami Swim Fashion Week, and likely clothed the greasy dudes who were grinding all up on you at the club last weekend. So while designers like Christian Lacroix struggle with bankruptcy, Christian Audigier is zeroing in on their legitimate fashion turf with his truly illegitimate "designs." This makes me sad. [The Cut]

*Originally published on The Frisky.

WWWD Man Issue On Stand Now (By Which I mean Online)

Know what 54 year old designer Donna Karan loves? "Music, DJin, dancing, partys going out!" She's also a fan of "just having a laugh and having it easy no worries!" Or so says the most recent issue of Women's Wear Daily parody WWWD.

In their Man Issue, released this week, WWWD delves into deep issues ranging from the size of Shia LaBeouf's package ("beyond inadequate," for the record) to whether or not rappers Pharell Williams and Kanye West are super into each other in the biblical sense.

It's questions like these, my friends, that need answering as the financial markets crash around us and the recent loss of your job forces you to trade in your apartment for an abandoned refrigerator box, stealing a wireless signal just to access some free internet porn.

A few of my favorite moments from The Man Issue:
  • "Today's Obsession: Knives!"- Apparently it's "time to get knife happy." Upon reading this, I deemed it time to start carrying a variety of throwing knives in pockets, purses and thigh holsters. It's getting very Mr. and Mrs. Smith up in here.
  • In depth WWWD coverage of Men's Fashion Week in Paris and Milan gave us an insider's look at the shows and the festivities. Lanvin designer Alber Elbaz "was credited with "getting the party started" by arriving fully nude." And we never would have known.
  • Dakota Fanning, two year old start of various films, likes it when men get rough with her. (Okay, she's 15. And she didn't actually say that. Whatever.)
*Originally published on The Frisky. But with fewer naughty words.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Michael Phelps Has A Perv Moustache

What's with Michael Phelps' new and ongoing dedication to perv-y looking facial hair? Over the last few weeks, he's been sporting everything from a moustache/beard combo (above) to a soul patch and, most recently, a total porn star 'stache. The new fu manchu-esque moustache is so perplexing that Daily Intel has put together a slide show allowing you to study from various angles, wet dry, under water and above it. Yet somehow, 12 pictures later, the reasoning behind the face pubes remains as mystifyingly opaque as ever.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Time To Man Up

I've been wearing flats all the time of late. I gave up on the whole "supportive shoe" initiative a while back but continued to wear flats as a sort of compromise. A compromise with myself, I guess: "Lily, if you wear flats, maybe that pulsing pain from foot to hip and ensuing grandma hobble will go away."

Anyway, not the point. The point is this: screw flats. I started wearing heels again once last week and again today and, while there is a bit of a throbbing in the aforementioned ankle, being taller than pretty much everyone is a decent trade. I'm going to consider the pain a sign that I'm manning up in the ankle region, as opposed to fucking up in the life region.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

"Smart Memory Bra" Tries Waaay Too Hard

The "Smart Memory Bra" is made of heat-sensitive foam that inflates and deflates based on body temperature. What this means: when you (and your chest) get all hot and bothered, this bra will inflate to push the girls up and out. The company that's making it claims the Smart Bra is inspired by fit, that "it's healthier than a normal bra because it will always provide the perfect fit." Really though, it has only one advantage over a regular bra, and it's not the fit; it will give you hooker boobs when someone's about to jump your bones.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Things I Want But Won't Buy For Summer

Blogger sucks so the picture is blurry. It won't be if you click on it. And clothes porn is best viewed in full detail.

Poor Ginnifer Goodwin Tried To Be Hot and Fashion-y in W and Failed

The spread is subtly titled "Not So Goodwin," and that seems to apply more to Ginnifer's attempt at badassness than Ginnifer Goodwin in general. Apparently the actress wanted us to forget everything we think we know about the sweet and bubbly her. Unfortunately, though she doesn't specify what she'd like us to think instead, one can surmise that she'd rather be considered a poor man's Madonna.

Given that Madonna already is a poor man's Madonna these days, the layers of confusion of Goodwin's persona choice in her W shoot are numerous.

It's not just the 80s Madge style that she's wearing, but also the young, South American man that she seems to have drugged and is, in the picture above, preparing her way with. Jesus Luz, anyone? And I love the other vested biker boy. He's looking at her all pissed like "why'd you roofie my boyfriend Ginnifer, he's just not that into you." She, of course, is turning around to be all like "wait, did he tell you that?"

Check out the rest of the shots here and don't get pissed at me for the fact that Goodwin is generally pantless with a little muffin top going on. You've been warned.